peace – Something More

What If?

Today we are waiting for hurricane Dorian. Someone on Facebook said that “waiting for a hurricane is like being stalked by a turtle.” Yep!

Like many in Wilmington, we are stocked with water, flashlights, batteries, Oreos, Chips Ahoy and a little patience. We have all devices charged and have a generator in the garage that was never taken out of the box last year. By the time we were able to get home after Florence, our electricity was back on. We bought the generator as we journeyed home from Winston-Salem because we might need it. What if we don’t have electricity when we get home?

It seems that life before a hurricane is filled with “what ifs?” We fill up our cars with gas prior to a storm because what if the gas pumps don’t work after the storm and we need to go somewhere? We clear off the deck because what if the wind picks up the table and crashes it into the sliding glass door? Yet experience tells us that these are good responses to the what if question.

The what if? question goes beyond a hurricane. It’s really the question that is repeated over and over throughout life.

What if my decision is the wrong one?

What if the job doesn’t work out?

What if the lump is malignant?

What if they find out exactly who I am?

What if they find out what I’ve done?

Most often it’s the question that is rooted in fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of others, fear of the lack of control.

Yet – suppose – what if? – we centered our lives in God’s what if question.

God asks:

What if you believe me?

What if you trust me?

What if you let go and quit hanging on so tight?

What if you forgive?

What if you ask me to help you?

Maybe the answer to the what if question is to remember. Over and over, God instructed his people to remember.

“Remember the days of old . . . who brought you up out of the sea . . . who put His spirit within you . . . who divided the waters before you . . . who led you through the depths? Like cattle that go down into the valley, the spirit of the Lord gave them rest.” – Isaiah 63:11-14

Instead of asking myself the what if question rooted in fear, I pray to ask the what if question rooted in God’s amazing love.

Francois Fenelon writes: “Oh, how much better are we sustained by love than by fear! Fear enslaves, constrains and troubles us; but love persuades, consoles, animates us; possesses our whole soul, and makes us desire goodness for its own sake.” *

What if I believe you, O God? What if I trust you, O Lord? May it be so.

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Prayer Request –

I invite you to join me in prayer and support for all of those who are suffering and have lost so much in the hurricane, especially those in the Bahamas. Also be in prayer for first responders and those who offer assistance to so many.

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A Simple Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. *

A simple prayer – a prayer that has been spoken by thousands of people . . .

an alcoholic seeking the strength to resist the urge to drink
a couple who doesn’t know how they can make their marriage work
an addict who tries to decide between buying food for their family and drugs for their cravings
a mom who is fighting the urge to “fix” the problem, enabling her loved one yet again
me in the midst of the everyday

It’s a prayer said hundreds of times at Celebrate Recovery, Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholic Anonymous, Al-Anon and other 12-step meetings.

It’s a prayer of acceptance, peace, courage and wisdom.

I remember seeing this prayer stitched on a needlepoint in my grandmother Louise’s house. I don’t know where it came from. I don’t know if she stitched it or if it was a gift. I don’t know what it meant to her. I didn’t know what it meant to me when I was child.

It’s a prayer that I see carved on this cross every time I sit at my desk to work, write, read or pray.

I pray this prayer regularly – sometimes in haste, sometimes in moments of indecision and sometimes in the throes of resentment.

What does it mean to pray: “serenity to accept the things I cannot change”? It’s a prayer for peace, knowing that I can do nothing to change the situation that is before me. It’s not my situation to change. I can’t make anyone “feel” differently. A person’s emotions belong to that person. As much as I want someone to be _________ (fill in the emotion), I cannot make anyone feel any particular way. I have no control over that.

What does it mean to pray: “courage to change the things I can”? It’s a prayer to stop saying “I can’t do anything about that!” It’s a prayer to stop making excuses . . . a prayer to quit letting anger fester into resentment. Just this morning I read this powerful line from Henri Nouwen: “When we swallow our angry feelings and do not make them known, resentment settles in.” ** When we don’t try to change something that we DO have control over, it bottles up, sinks deep into the pit of our hearts and at some point comes pouring out, usually in a way that is certainly not peaceful or serene.

What does it mean to pray: “the wisdom to know the difference”? For me, here’s the real point of contention – the crux of the prayer. How do I know if I should accept or if I should seek to change? Is this really my problem? Is this my responsibility? What’s MY part in the situation before me?

To understand the difference, I need a moment to think, really think – to pray, really pray – for clarity. Sometimes that clarity comes easily. Sometimes that clarity is harder to see. Sometimes I need someone to help – a friend, a confidant, a sponsor, a coach or a spouse. Most often, it’s my husband, Noah. (Thank you to Noah and all of the people who’ve helped me figure it out.)

It is a simple prayer . . . a prayer drawing me to the Source of strength, courage, peace and hope . . . over and over again.

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*The Serenity Prayer is most commonly attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971).

* * Nouwen, Henri. Spiritual Formation: Following the Movements of the Spirit. Harper One, Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust with Michael J. Christensen and Rebecca J. Laird, 2010, p. 59.

More in the Dental Chair

Questions in the dental hygienist’s chair sometimes go beyond “do you floss every day?” Occasionally they are a little more unexpected – like “do you ask your congregation for topics for sermons?”

Umm . . . wasn’t expecting that between rinse and suction.

After I stumbled around for an answer (which was “uh, not really”), I replied: “why do you ask?”

Hygienist: “Well, I just wondered if, in light of the tragedies of this world, you try to offer some kind of answer to the questions of why?”

Me: “Oh, certainly world events both at home and far away inform our messages.” Sounds like a nice and tidy answer, doesn’t it?

Honestly I don’t know what else I said. Her original question was simple. Her second question – not so much.

But it made me remember why I answered the call to ministry some 25 years ago. (Has it really been that long?) People want answers.

All of us are searching for answers in this crazy, beautiful world that we live in. We are all searching for more than just what we see in the media.

I find my hope and my strength in Jesus Christ. I don’t understand why there’s pain and heartache in this world BUT I know that in the midst of this life, Jesus is the One who stands with us, bringing hope and peace.

Jesus is the One who offers more.

Thanks to Noah Archer for the photo used on this page.